AC 196 Crossfire At McDonald's
by TragicPhoenix
Summary: The 5 GW pilots are all working at a McDonald's, just not necessarily together. On this particular day, everything seems to go wrong. They've survived countless battles, but can they survive their workday?


GUNDAM WING FAN FIC EPISODE #1: A. C. 196 Crossfire At McDonald's

-A few months after the Eve War of A. C. 195, the group of Gundam pilots all decided to take jobs on Earth in a McDonald's. As their battles have ended, at least for now, their lives all began to form a sense of normalcy. Due to their exemplary work, Heero and Trowa have been made the managers of a local fast food restaurant. After many weeks of maintaining the restaurant, Heero decides to take a day off. Little does he know that a battle is ensuing in his absence-

…Our story begins inside of a moderately busy McDonald's establishment. So far things seem to go according to plan. But as luck would have it, hell strikes in the most unexpected ways…

Duo: Welcome to McDonald's! How may I serve ya? Keep in mind that everything on the menu today comes with a complimentary special; our brand-new Clux Deluxe Kickin' Chicken Tenders with your choice of 3 sauces: Blazin' Barbeque, Rockin' Ranch, annnnd Mega Mustard!

Customer 1: Umm, how about just a number 3. And uhh… No pickles.

Duo: Number 3 no pickles it is coming right up! –He turns around- Hey Quatre! We got another one!

Quatre: Oh umm... Yeah… About that…

Duo: Huh? –He approaches Quatre who's holding a flaming spatula- What's goin' on?

Quatre: I accidentally broke the brand-new deep fryer in the kitchen…

Relena: You what?! –She glares at Quatre from her cash register- How the hell did you manage that?

Quatre: I really don't know. It just happened.

Duo: Uh oh. That ain't good Quatre. (Thinking) Holy shit! Heero is going to be pissed when he finds out!

WuFei: Heh, you guys are gonna get it.

Duo: Come on WuFei! You have to help us. Do you think that you could uhh…

WuFei: Could I what?

Duo: Somehow fix the deep fryer before Heero gets here in about… -He looks at his watch- 20 minutes?

WuFei: What?! You're out of your mind if you think I'm getting involved with this.

Duo: But come on man! You owe us! Think about all we've been through.

WuFei: I don't think that being trapped in a prison cell with you for a week counts as "quality time".

Quatre: But WuFei! We need your help. You're the only one here that's good with appliances.

Relena: Yes WuFei, could you please? I'm afraid that Heero might actually shoot Quatre this time. Profits are already down this quarter.

WuFei: Umm, all right. Where's the toolkit?

Quatre: Out back in the shed near the dumpster. Just make sure Trowa doesn't see you.

WuFei: Right, I got it. –He walks through the kitchen and out the back door-

Duo: Okay guys, we need a plan. –The three of them huddle around each other and look back and forth-

Customer 2: Jesus Christ! Can I get some service? _Today?_

Customer 3: This is my _only_ lunch hour you know!

Relena: We'll just have to improvise for now. There's too many customers to do anything else. –She and Duo return to their registers. Quatre tries to escape into the kitchen but Trowa catches sight of him and looks around at everyone-

Trowa: What is going on in here? All I can hear from my office is shouting. –He looks at Quatre who's staring at the ground- Seems like the lot of you is slacking off today.

Quatre: Umm uhh well…

Duo: They were just…

Relena: Really excited about our Clux Deluxe Kickin' Chicken Tenders! They can barely contain themselves.

Trowa: All right then. Hey, where's WuFei? He said he wanted to talk to me about payroll sometime this week but I've just been so busy lately. –He looks over at the calendar- Wasn't he scheduled to come into work today?

Duo: Um no. Actually I uh, told him that I'd switch days with him.

Trowa: I see. Carry on then. –He turns and returns to his office-

Relena: Phew. That was a close one.

Duo: Damn it! Why did Heero pick Trowa to be his assistant manager anyway?

Quatre: Probably because of moments like these.

Duo: Yeah, I guess you're right about that.

Relena: I wonder how WuFei's doing.

-Outside behind the restaurant, WuFei rummages through the shed-

WuFei: Damn! How did I get myself into this mess?! I've been out here for 7 minutes and I haven't found anything! –He jams his finger against a metallic container- Ow! Shit! Huh? –He pulls the box out of the shed and opens- Found it. –He rushes back inside-

-On the highway, Zechs and Noin ride in Zech's white BMW M3-

Noin: I wonder how those kids's are holding up.

Zechs: Knowing them, they're probably fine.

Noin: I don't know about that. It seems like they've been getting a bit lazy.

Zechs: Its no matter. Our quarterly report will decide whether they are doing their jobs or not.

Noin: I can't argue with ya there.

Zechs: Hmm. –He looks in his rear-view mirror- (Thinking) Does this guy seriously think his Ford Explorer can pass me? I'll just have to prove to him that he's seriously underestimated the power of my engine. –He guns the accelerator of his M3, leaving the Explorer in the dust-

-Back in the McDonald's, business continues, but not as usual-

Customer 4: I just want a medium Big Mac combo.

Relena: That will be $4.53 please. –She watches as he pulls out his Visa and tries to slide his card through the machine- Oh, try flipping it around. That should work. –She looks at the screen as it says "Transaction Complete"- There we go.

Customer 4: Oh, thank you. –He inserts the card back into his black wallet-

Duo: Hey Relena, I'll be right back. I'm gonna check on Quatre and see how he's holding up with the old fryer. –He turns and walks towards the kitchen-

Relena: (Thinking) Crap! He would leave me out here alone. –She looks at the increasingly long line of customers-

-Inside of the auxiliary kitchen, Quatre sweats profusely as he's trying to avoid burning the food-

Quatre: I can't take much more of this… -He wipes his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt and looks down at the flaming burgers-

Duo: Hey man, how's it goin'? –He looks down at the scorched patties- Um, Quatre…

Quatre: I'm doing fine okay? –He sighs- How's everything up front?

Duo: We're swamped. Poor Relena is doing all she can.

-Out front, Relena struggles to handle the irate customers-

Customer 5: Hey! What's the holdup?! I thought this was supposed to be _fast_ food!

Relena: I'll have your order momentarily. (Thinking) Fucking Quatre! He screwed this up for everyone! –She looks to her left and sees Duo coming out of the kitchen- Where have you been?! Do you have any idea how crazy it is out here?

Duo: Right, right. I'm sorry. Sheesh. –He looks at the lengthy line of customers- I can take somebody over here! –A customer approaches him- And how may I help you?

-Inside of the main kitchen, WuFei continues working on the broken deep fryer-

WuFei: (Thinking) Damn! This thing makes Nataku look easy to fix! –He shuffles through the toolkit and pulls out a wrench-

Trowa: There you are. I've been looking all over for you. And what exactly are you doing?

WuFei: I'm fixing the deep fryer. –He tightens up bolts inside of the fryer-

Trowa: Hmm. We just got this thing last month. That and Heero will be here any minute. Keep working as fast as you can, I'll try to figure out some way to buy us some time. –He begins walking towards the door-

WuFei: You might want to check on Quatre. You remember the last time he made burgers don't you?

Trowa: Yeah. Poor kid nearly burned his hand clean off. –He leaves the kitchen-

-A few miles away, Heero stops at an intersection in his blue Lexus IS350-

Heero: Hmm? –Two green Hummer H3's pull up beside him on each side. One of the drivers rolls down their window and begin shouting at Heero-

Driver 1: You think that little matchbox can beat me? Hahahahaha! Let's go! –He revs his engine into the redline-

Heero: Mission accepted. –He glances at the stoplights and waits for them to change to green. Once the light shifts, the two H3's take off with Heero still sitting at the intersection-

Driver 1: Hah! This guy sucks! Huh?! –He looks in his rear-view mirror and sees smoke and realizes that Heero's IS350 has caught up- What the hell?!

Heero: Heh. –He pulls out a Desert Eagle from his glove compartment while lowering his driver side windows. He aims the barrel at the H3 and skillfully proceeds to shooting out the two right tires, only using two bullets-

Driver 1: Ahh!! –He swerves out of control and drives into a dollar store, slamming through aisles of merchandise-

Heero: Hahahaha! One more to go. –He lowers the right side windows and takes aim, shooting out the left side tires-

Driver 2: Noooo! –He slams on the breaks but swerves onto the sidewalk, crashing into a hotdog vendor cart, tossing dozens of hotdogs and buns into the air-

Heero: That's one thing taken care of. –He continues down the road at 45 mph-

-Back in the McDonald's the phone rings-

Trowa: I'll get it. –He answers- Hello? Ah, what's up Heero?

Relena: Heero?

Duo: Damn! We're so gonna get busted!

Trowa: Everything's fine. –He listens- Yeah, the lunch crowd is dying down. –He listens more- Nothing's blown up yet either. I'll talk to you when you get here. Bye. –He hangs up-

-Quickly, Quatre rushes out of the kitchen with flames on his clothing-

Quatre: Now the old fryer is on fire! Ow! –He drops his red-hot and flaming spatula on the floor. He then dives to the floor and rolls around to smother the flames-

Relena: Are you shitting me?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Stop screwing everything up in one day!

Quatre: Hey! I didn't ask for this to happen!

Trowa: That's enough out of you two. Duo, can you take care of it?

Duo: Sure thing! Ack! –He rips the fire extinguisher from the wall and sprints towards the kitchen- I'm goin' in! –He stampedes through the door and immediately begins spraying the chemical everywhere inside of the kitchen-

Trowa: (Thinking) This is really going to hurt our profits for the third quarter.

-Within moments, the entire restaurant fills with smoke. Panicking customers start pushing and shoving each other while trying to get out of the front entrance-

Duo: Whoa! –The extinguisher explodes, launching him out of the kitchen and over the service counter and into the McDonald's Ball Room-

Relena: Oh… My… God… -She, Trowa, and Quatre rush over to help him up- What just happened to you?

Duo: What happened? This damn thing just exploded! –He hurls the extinguisher over his head, inadvertently sending it crashing through one of the front windows-

Quatre: Whoa!

Trowa: That can't be good…

Duo: Oh god no… Noooo!

Relena: Now what are we going to do? Heero will be here any minute and this place is a wreck!

-Heero then pulls up in the parking lot. He gets out of the car and notices the heavy smoke billowing out of the front doors and the recently broken window-

Heero: (Thinking) I leave them alone for 7 hours and this is what happens. –He looks down at the damaged extinguisher and the broken glass, and then proceeds to enter the building-

Quatre: Heero! You're early!

Heero: Hmm. –He looks at Duo- You did this didn't you?

Duo: What?! Don't look at me! It was all Quatre's fault! He's the one that set the whole damn restaurant on fire!

Quatre: That's not fair Duo! That fryer has a mind of its own!

-WuFei walks out carrying one of the wrenches and wipes the sweat from his forehead-

WuFei: Well, I couldn't save the deep fryer unfortunately. –He looks around- Wow. Looks like Fortress Barge all over again in here.

Heero: What the hell has been going on in here? Everything's destroyed.

Quatre: Not much… Heh, just the um… Usual.

Heero: I see. –He pulls out his Desert Eagle and aims it at Quatre-

Duo: Whoa! Heero! Let's not be too hasty! –Heero glares at him and Duo instantly shuts up-

Relena: I told you he was going to do it didn't I?!

WuFei: Yeah, you did.

Trowa: Eh, he had this one coming to him. Frankly, Heero beat me to the punch this time around.

Quatre: Ah! –He makes a run for the door just before Heero starts shooting at him-

Heero: I'll be cutting more than just your paycheck Quatre. –He walks outside just as everyone rushes outside behind him. Quatre hurries his way into his maroon Ford Fusion and turns the ignition- (Thinking) A head shot at this, or any range for that matter, will kill him. –He deviously grins and aims his gun at Quatre's Fusion-

Quatre: (Thinking) I must get out of here! –He floors the car and tries to make his escape from the parking lot-

Heero: Hmm. –He fires one bullet, hitting Quatre's rear left tire, forcing him off the road and into a Wendy's, running over the table beside Zechs and Noin-

Duo: Whoa! Cool! I haven't seen someone swerve like that in ages!

WuFei: Dude! Nice shot! You totally capped him!

Trowa: Not too shabby there Heero.

-Quatre struggles to get out of his Fusion-

Quatre: Oh man… Its totaled… -He looks at the French fries and various condiments splattered all over the severely deformed hood of his car-

Zechs: Quatre… What on earth were you thinking? –Noin begins laughing upon the sight of a bacon cheeseburger splattering on his white shirt and strawberry soda in his hair- It's not that amusing…

Noin: I'm sorry… It's just that you spent 45 minutes in the bathroom doing your damn hair this morning. –She falls out of her chair laughing-

Zechs: You fool! –He lunges from his chair at Quatre-

Quatre: Ah! He runs out of the hole in the wall with Zechs chasing after him-

To be continued…


End file.
